Sinking Illness [Brushfire/Ixion]

[Akante]

Ixion said:

Finally day, where the young sunlight shined down upon the dying jungle. Many were rising now to start the new day, seeing what their adventure to day was going to be. In Alteron, no one knew. It was all unpredictable. Could beat the living shit out of someone, someone could run away because they were a whiney little bitch and couldn't handle it, or just relax in a bush somewhere. Either way, someone was going to be doing something. Ixion could feel it. The vibe of the jungle with busy wolves all around. Even if they were bored out of their skulls, they would be walking around. Doing something. Ixion really didn't know what bored was, he was already entertained by his surroundings. Until he got used to his new home, he wouldn't be bored at all looking at strange plants, flowers and meeting new wolves.

"Maybe I meet someone new Today. Ixion excited!" As the wolf stretched, he seemed very excited. It was a new day after all in a new pack, in a new setting. Blue and gray tail wagged as the wolf went on it's merry way. If anyone saw him this way, they'd probably yell at time, Ixion knew it. But until a smell arose in the air, Ixion would keep his tongue placed at his jaw side and tail high in the air like a puppy. No one had beat on him yet, but soon, very soon. Or maybe not at all as long as he followed orders and kept his mouth shut. The only problem he faced was remembering names. The most important names to be remembering was the Alpha's names. Who knew what they were, Ixion didn't know. He had asked a fellow member what their names were, but they didn't answer, so Ixion wasn't the only one who didn't know. But soon, he'd have to learn, and fast. Unless the fool wanted to be killed, that was.

"What of their names? Ah! Hate not remembering. Annoying it is." Ixion really was irritated by how his memory acted. It always threw important shit out the window only to be handy later, but he didn't have it. So what was the point? It was annoying, but the parasite thought it was funny. Always laughing at his stupidness.

You can't remember, can you? You're just a stupid little fucker who can't remember shit. You'll die that way soon, oh yes you will. Just watch, your guts will spill upon this Earth and you will DIE a horrid death. Hahahaha, I'd love to watch, I'd love to.

The dry foliage cracked under Ixion's blue paws as he walked through the jungle quietly. His tongue no longer hung from his jaws or his tail held high. Green eyes were set forward, looking at anything and everything. The feminine figure walked gracefully past plants and flowers of the sorts.

[Akante]

Brushfire said:

Brushfire felt so alone in this jungle.
Sure, there were others that she could relate to in a sense of duty, responsibility, and perhaps even opinions. But no one saw everything the way she did. Everyone was too focused on what Alteron was turning them into. Not what they could become. And, for some, not what they had once been. The Sentry's ideals and morals had barely changed since her first encounter with this pack, several years ago. And that entrance was an action that could not be undone. Not exactly that she wanted it to be undone, that would be trecherous. And the female was nothing of that sort. But, perhaps, if she had had a better idea of what she would've been getting herself into, she could've been more prepared for change. But change was thrown upon her in her weakest times. Therefore making her weak. And being the weak one in Alteron was not the best place to be.

A shudder ran down her spine, tingling every nerve in her body. Her paws treaded the ground delicately, as if she could even try to not stir the rotting soil. As if. A simple whisp of the wind would overturn any section of ground within Alteron. No sunlight and too much humidity and precipitation led to what it has become. Just like the wolves that walked upon these grounds. Without the hope and light of the outside world, they had turned on the common moralities and become what they are. Now, Ru couldn't speak for everyone. There were a few decent beings, but it would be a miracle for the female to find a creature within the pack that was not corrupt. Even she couldn't say that she hadn't been corrupted. Her snappy attitude towards disrepsectful recruits and peasants was something she had never wanted to do. But it was now somewhat of a second nature to her.

But perhaps today was the day for a miracle.

Her auds shifted to her left, catching a distinct voice. Not like the gruff, arrogant sounds that came from the cursed wolves' mouths. It was younger, careless, free. Free. An immediate interest welled in Brushfire's mind and heart, her eyes widening in curiosity. Her paws changed direction, now heading for the ever-common fern bushes. So thick, irritating, annoying. Squinting her eyes to protect them, the Sentry waded through the vegetation, more than eager to reach the end of them. To see what was there. To see who was there. Her nose itched, and an abrupt sneeze was forced out, stifled. Her eyes watered for a second, before calming down. But within that second, the foliage had cleared enough for Brushfire to see the other creature face to face.
Almost running into the female, Ru stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes were wide, a bit cautious with her stepping now. She wouldn't want to walk in front of her, or straight into her. A care-free, yet somewhat confused look was in the wolf's eyes. Brushfire stared at him for a second, attempting to decipher what was going on. Pursing her lips, she clicked her tongue. She began to sit down, slowly, as if to intrigue the other in a conversation. Or, at least, to get her to stop walking. "Wh-Who are you. . . ?"

[Akante]

Ixion said:

Though the tail stopped wagging and the tongue was back in it's head, the wolf kept going along with glee reflected in it's green eyes. Head was held high, but the tail had no business with the sky as it faced behind the body as if to watch for any intruders. Ixion kept padding along, exploring the Jungle he had just recently plopped into. It was now called "home" since the wolf didn't know the name fully of the pack which was somehow annoying. Ixion couldn't remember crap. He didn't even know if he had been through here a few days ago. Probably, it looked familiar.

The dire's body stopped suddenly, ears perked up as a noise echoed through his ear drums. It was a distinctive noise, almost as someone sneezed. But Ixion was cautious about this, he didn't know any wolves hardly and he wasn't about to get on someone's bad side yet. There would be days were scars would be added to his skin, but not today, no. He couldn't feel that he wouldn't.

Watch ooouuuuut. They'll get you and tear you up. .

The parasite crawled out of the hole in Ixion's brain, talking to him so early. He tried to ignore it's annoying, screechy voice as it echoed through his mind; it was hard not to ignore it because of the loudness. However, Ixion managed not to say anything as much as a knot twisted up in his chest with anger. He was too much into the rustling of the bushes. It kind of scared the dire not knowing what was behind the stupid ferns hiding whatever was coming towards him. "What the-"

As a head almost bumped into Ixion, the wolf jumped backwards, surprised by the unexpected pop up. Loosing his balance, his back rammed into a tree along with bonking his head in the process. "Ow!" The female voice echoed as blue paws reached up behind his head to rub the sore spot. "What the hell was that?! Try scaring me?" His green eyes looked up at the timber who was standing there just as surprised as he was. Though, she did sit down slowly as if she was being cautious around the wolf that stood before her. Ixion looked at her for a moment, not even noticing the words that came from her mouth. The odd colors of gray, orange and brown made Ixion have a confused expression, but looking beyond the odd color scheme, he thought the wolf was kind of. . pretty.

She asked who you are, dumbshit. Don't be rude.

Shaking his head, Ixion lifted himself up from the tree trunk sitting across from the female. "Uh. . uh, I is Ixion."

[Akante]

Brushfire said:

[[Sorry Gothy, I should've informed everyone of my absence. XD]]

The sudden reaction from the other female caused Brushfire to freeze into place. her auds were firmly facing forwards, alert for anything. Her tail remained still, hanging horizontally to her back. The tip of her tail twitched eagerly, her fangs beginning to poke out of her lips. Defensive. Anxious. Ready. She wasn't about to let some fool make a bigger fool of herself. She'd had enough of that, and quiet frankly, she was ready to shove some wolves into the dirt. The rage towards Rapier, the rage towards Ridge, it was enough to empower her with some brute strength. Maybe she should pummel Kiakime. . . that'd do her some good. More than she could really think, actually. Brushfire loosened herself for a second as the other wolf backed up, loosing control over her balance. A soft whimper escaped her maw, watching as the grey female knocked herself in the head against a tree. Auds lowering, the Sentry took a few steps forwards. Her head was lowered calmly, her tail gently swishing from side to side. Apologetic.

"Ow! What the hell was that?! Try scaring me?"

Annoyed, Brushfire took a step back, her tail thrasing to the left and staying there. Pursing her lips in a stubborn fashion, she stood still. She wasn't going to be shoved around by this mere girl. Her auds flickered, her brown eyes glowing. But within a few seconds, the other wolf began to be silent. Only her eyes moved, seeming to stare Brushfire down. What was the doing? At first Brushfire remained still, unmoving, stubborn. But after a bit, her body language began to soften. Her tail lowered itself gently towards the ground. Her auds were loosened, her muscles relaxed. She sat back down, swishing her soft tail from right to left upon the rotting soil. An odd expression on the other female's face made Ru stop. What was wrong? What was Brushfire doing wrong?
A chilling feeling sped down the Sentry's spine, unsure. Uneasy. But then the other spoke, "Uh. . uh, I is Ixion."

A small smile spread across Brushfire's maw. Ixion. She seemed. . . different. She didn't know how, but Ixion was different. "Hello Ixion. . . I'm Brushfire. . . a Sentry," Eyes met, "What are you doing out here?"

[Akante]

Ixion said:

Ixion stared at the female as she was very uncertain where the odd wolf was coming from. It seemed that both were scared by the unexpected meeting. Though, as soon as Ixion presented a sorry look upon him, and apologized, the tri-colored female began to relax, but was still uncertain about the wolf before her.

Hello Ixion. . .I'm Brushfire. . a Sentry. What are you doing out here?

Ixion shook his head, to get feelings and thoughts jumbled back into his mind. A little sigh escaped from his lungs as he tried to regain emotion. You could say it was like little butterflies fluttering around in his tummy, which was a new thing. And it seemed the parasite within his brain was reluctant to come forth and bother the poor creature. "Well, I out walking cause Ixion new to . . . mm. . " He thought for a moment, trying to remember the name of the pack he had just joined a few days prior. "I new to jungle. I guess I just exploring. Sorry if Ixion came off as. . . jumbled? He can't talk well."

Brushfire could probably figure out that Ixion wasn't a normal wolf. First, his words were jumbled and didn't make very much sense. One would probably think of him as a retard, or someone who wasn't very much acquainted with the "English" language. Probably came from somewhere else and had a different language in tongue, but Ixion knew nothing else but English. Ixion wasn't a "he" either, though she thought she was a male, she was in fact female. But she didn't believe it. Some also might think he was younger than his appearance. Ixion was indeed mentally deranged, but only from childhood experience. But, Brushfire would make the final judgement on the poor soul that stood before her.

[Akante]

Brushfire said:

Brushfire watched as the young female was still cautious. Tedious. Not sure of what was going on. The sentry remained calm, not wanting to possibly start any drama or situation. She could tell that this was definately not that average Alteronian. Not a chance in this hell. Her eyes studied the grey-shaded wolf. A few hues of blue here and there. A simple, yet beautiful design. She wouldn't be surprised if she were to gain a rank because of her beauty. Brushfire knew several wolves within the pack who would do such a thing. In this hell hole, anything was possible. Hell, if someone as caring and morally-bound as Brushfire could make it in by the graces of the Prince, and live to tell the tale alongside the loathing Queen, what wasn't possible. Her eyes warmed as the other she-wolf began to ponder. Sorting her words out, perhaps? A light chuckle escaped the Sentry's maw. Ixion obviously wasn't the most stable. It took a good minute, at the least, before the slightest sound was uttered.

"Well, I out walking cause Ixion new to . . . mm. . . I new to jungle. I guess I just exploring. Sorry if Ixion came off as. . . jumbled? He can't talk well."

Brushfire merely nodded for the most part. So she was new to Alteron, not too hard to see there. Or perhaps all of this wolf's confusion could have been due to the mental torture of this place. But Ixion had spoken loud and clear. She was new. End of story. Just exploring. Having fun, that was understandable. But perhaps some caution was necessary. No, caution was necessary. Ixion seemed fragile, easily-torn. Brushfire took a protective step forwards, her auds turning to the sides. It would be likely that a stumbling figure might attract a soldier or an assassin seeking some practice. Tail twitching, her nose took in the air. Testing it for other scents. It was clear. And it was then, when she cleared her head, that she had taken in what Ixion had said.
"He?"
Her eyes widened, and she looked over at the younger female. Her tail froze, the tip twitching. What the hell had she said? HE? An awkward smile stretched over her maw, a bit uneasy. Was it a simple mistake? Most likely, since Ixion seemed to already struggle a bit with her grammar. Understandable, right? She nodded to herself, backing off a step. She took a step around Ixion, curling her body around her like a mother would to a pup. It seemed as though this peasant wasn't guided, led. Inspired. She needed someone. A helping hand. Someone who could help her with her words, obviously. Mixing up one's own gender? That'd be an embarassing mistake in front of a judging superior. Brushing herself closely towards Ixion, but not making contact, the sentry took her initiative. Help.

A light chuckle escaped her maw, hoping to enlighten the situation. "He? Oh Ixion. . . I'm sure you meant 'she'. And I'm not one to judge on grammar. . . I'm one of the nicer wolves. . ."
Simple words. Easy to understand. At least, she hoped it was. . .

[Akante]

Ixion said:

Ixion watched as the female before him took a step forward. As soon as she did, a second later the female's expression almost looked surprising. Had Ixion said something wrong? He wasn't really sure of it, and became nervous, having his ears back in embarrassment and eyes looking else where instead of her tri-colored pelt. However, Brushfire just stepped around the creature as if examining the big puppy. Not once did she touch the black and blue figure, but Ixion was a little nervous still.

He? Oh Ixion. . . I'm sure you meant 'she'. And I'm not one to judge on Grammar. . . I'm one of the nicer wolves. . .

Ixion's ears shot up as if she heard a puppy squeal in agony. His eyes went wide as soon as the expression flowed from Brushfire's maw. Did she just say. . that Ixion was a she? Now the wolf looked at the female, his face a mixture of puzzlement and had a hint of hurt as if insulted. It was indeed insulting to him. . He of course was a she, a female thinking that she was a male because of childhood abuse and rape. Even the Schizophrenic voice within Ixion said she was a she, but the wolf refused to believe. She never believed to be a female.

I told you, I told you. You just don't listen~.

The voice within Ixion's head hissed, mocking the confused female. "I no female. I male. I swear. Ixion not care what Brushfire say." He backed away, shaking his head violently. No, no, no. He was not female. . Now Ixion almost looked like tears were going to stream down his cheeks. Oh how everyone mocked him, even the voice within his head. He was sick of it. The wolf backed up against the tree he had run into. As soon as Ixion's rump hit the bark, he slid down to sit and turn away from Brushfire. Someone might think it was a pout or even a ridiculous reaction, but Ixion was having a mental breakdown. All those years back where her father tortured her and her siblings, raping them and beating them near death. Flash backs were playing behind those wide emerald eyes. It was torture, pure torture.

[Akante]

Brushfire said:

[Sorry for the wait
Oh and let me underline, Brushfire is only speaking when the text is brown and surrounded by "" just to make sure]

Brushfire felt her heart pound faster as the female refused to be anything of what she was called. She claimed to be a male; she claimed it so strongly and backed away. Brushfire first wanted to follow, but decided to not scare the female further. It was when she backed into the tree and landed down that Brushfire realized what an important role it had to this figure that she was a he. She walked closer to her, watching her wet eyes and glimpsing eyes through the closed skin. Brushfire knew something was going on inside her head, something she couldn’t control or stop. Broken. She was just as broken down as herself. Brushfire lifted her paw slowly and then carefully reached after the other one a smile upon her lips as she placed her pawn on the other ones shoulder.

”I am sorry. How silly of me, of course you are a he, how could I be so wrong?”

And there she stood, with her gentle paw on her shoulder, watching the female’s green eyes with tender and kindness.

broken down.

It was a familiar word to her and well known. She opened her mouth slowly and then closed it. She didn’t have the right words for comfort to her. She wasn’t inside her head, she couldn’t see the nightmares of horrors within her, she couldn’t tell her it wasn’t her fault, she could say the exactly wrong things. So it was better to say nothing at all. And let her feel. She leaned forward and gently licked the female’s muzzle. If she couldn’t say anything she could at least show herr-. Him. She better play along to it, Ixion was a male as long as she insisted on it.

what’s wrong with you!?

Ixion was so disturbed that it hurt the female to see him a place like this. What had it done to her? What had it done to him? What had it caused of mental scars that he hadn’t already earned from a previous stage in life? But Brushfire was just as broken a tool as Ixion, but she was stronger, she had a good past, a good being in life, she had Blade too. Brushfire gently pushed the female up from her sitting position and nuzzled her. Brushfire was not different was she? She just had a better past, a better chance. This female even had a broken past, what could she do with it?

I fear emptiness

truth to be told Brushfire was a bit afraid. Afraid the other one would snap out after her or get angry. She tried to lead the female after her to get up on her legs again. If this female had no one to lean on, then Brushfire could be the one. She could lean on her, she could take it. Because it was how it was anyway. All the hidden emotions were leaned toward her, heavier her and pushing her down.

I stay up.

She didn’t let them push her down. ”Would you like to go to the river and have a drink?” Brushfire wanted to lighten the mood for them both, and she was thirsty. Would the female soon have forgotten the entire situation and move on as if nothing had happened? Forgotten the sunken nightmares within her head she had just seen? Or would they remain to bother her all the way down to the river? Brushfire smiled and pushed her gently forward with her paw. A gentle creature in the dark place had to lead the lost and broken.

[Akante]

Ixion said:

[sorry this took so long, and sorry it's so damn short.]

Even though Ixion usually was angry with the one who called her a male, she didn't seem to get angry at this wolf. Why? Why was this one different than all the rest? Was Ixion actually starting to like a wolf that she met only moments ago? The dire wolf was naive and extremely sick in mental health. And the feelings Ixion was having was unlike anything she ever expected. She was saddened by the comment the tri-colored female had said. Sulking usually wasn't the outcome.

I am sorry. How silly of me, of course you are a he, how could I be so wrong?

Ears once down now pushed back up in interest. "Simple mistake, right? Ixion forgives. Ixion sorry for his behavior." The dire turned around to face the female once again with hopeful green eyes. The beautiful face once again coming in Ixion's view, the comment melted away into nothingness. The situation was already forgotten. A tongue stuck from his mouth, going back to his normal ways again, Ixion was.

This wolf was nothing like Akcid or any of the other wolves that Ixion met. For some reason, this one seemed a bit sad, or at least not far from depression. This was also mixed with nervousness, as if afraid that Ixion was going to snap at her. The truth was, the odd wolf might have if she were someone different, but Brushfire was lucky Ixion had made a liking to her so quickly. For this, he felt odd with a feeling of. . . love? Perhaps. Or perhaps he was just hungry and the little butterflies weren't savage beasts roaring and wanting food. Or the fact was, Ixion was happy.

As the female nuzzled Ixion up, he smiled sweetly, liking more and more of this gentle female. He thought this was the most gentlest of creatures in this rain forest, and he was most possibly correct.

Would you like to go to the river and have a drink?

Ixion's head bobbled up and down in a fast motion, like a pup would. "Yes, yes! Ixion like that!" And so he skipped off towards the water.

[Akante]

Brushfire said:

She looked okay.


Uh he. She shock her head and refrained herself, since it clearly upset the male to be called male she better not think it as well or she would just have an even harder time getting it right, and that wasn't going to be pretty. Not when the male refused to be male. It still confused Ru, but she had felt so guilty when he called him a he, so she would not do so again, seeing his upset face had been painful enough, she didn't need other reminders than that. Instead she helped him- her up on her legs and she noticed right away how the entire scene from before seemed to have been forgotten completely.

relief. Okay, now breath

What am I doing? am I clinging to a male?

Reminder of a hurtful past as it stroke her she wasn't supposed to think of Ridge. Not now, not tomorrow just no more at all! She was over him, yeah. Defiantly over him, and she was not suppressing any love or heart arching for him. FakeFakeFakeFakeFakeFAKE The words screamed into her head as she realized she was just lying and composing herself to be stronger than she was. She squeezed her eyes tight and hit the ground with a low thump as he knees hit first. She were shaking all over, feeling like she were going mad!

1. 2. 4..

And gone. She opened her eyes, the feeling gone, suppressed, away and hidden in the darkest corner and deepest shadow of her soul. She sighed and smiled at Ixion getting back up at her leg. She hadn't even heard her reply yes to go and have a drink. But she was already walking so Ru guessed it had been a yes as she quickly thrust ed her fur to get the dust off. "Sorry I tripped" She smiled innocently, but this time the words of fake and her fake smile were not screaming to her.

"Lets have a drink now." She walked slowly, but steady toward the nearest streaming she knew of, now feeling quiet thirsty actually as she speed her pace up to get that water down her throat quickly, putting off the thirst, washing away old wounds, old memories and all shame.

[Akante]

Ixion said:

Sorry I tripped.

Ixion swiveled her head towards the female, smiling sweetly as possibly. "No worries, Ixion just startled is all. Not orange one's fault!" The strange dire also saw how the female smiled back. For the first time, he saw something that was possible. Too many times the dire noticed no one smiling, no one ever relaxed. This was a tight pack, Ixion could feel it deep down; however, this female here was the only one who showed a sweet kindness that no one else had shown. This was a bit. . surprising.

Lets have a drink now.

The wolf pup bounded away, like he always did. Jumping across little paths, over plants and over dead branches that had once fallen. Seemed this was a habit of his, bounding away after something, not taking note if the wolf behind him was following closely behind or was left there in the dust. There was only one mind set for him, and that was water. Ixion hardly drank water, which made him thirsty most of the time.

The stream came into sight, making Ixion run harder and faster until his body hit the water like no other force. Beads of water sprayed into the air, coming back down on the dire making him shake his pelt before snapping his jaws into the water, and then lapping up he source faster than ever before. It was a miracle that the wolf wasn't weak after many days of not drinking at all. Someday, he might kill himself doing that, but for now, Ixion drank happily as he watched the current sweep by his feet swiftly.

[sorry it's shitty and late]

[Akante]

Brushfire said:

Brushfire was amazed by how much the fema- male was able to drink and wondered when the last time had been that this female had gotten any kind of drink to her throat. Brushfire had followed her close behind and walked down to the edge of the water where Ixion stood into it and was watching him silently as he drank and slurped water into his mouth to calm the thirst he must have felt for so long. Brushfire leaned down and leaped on to the water and took a few swallow drinks and closed her eyes to enjoy the cool feeling on her muzzles. She opened her eyes and looked toward Ixion who still was drinking. It was a remarkable male she had come across. Or rather female. A girl who believed to be male? She had known or heard of someone like that before, but couldn't recall and didn't care enough to think back on it. Instead she lifted her head back up from the water surface and her eyes looked toward Ixion.

"Ixion? Do. Do you ever fall in love with girls?"

She regretted her words as soon as they had come out. This was such a weird and difficult question. She asked a female who thought she was male if she was bisexual then or in her case straight. But did the girl even know what sexuality and love was? Was it an alien word and world to her? Did it fall far away from her and her dictionary. Brushfire quickly shook her head and grinned "Ah sorry nevermind me." Why did she have to ask something like that? She had screwed up enough around here. Inside she scolded herself for her behaviour and went back to the drinking closing her eyes again. This time not of enjoyment but to look concentrate and push the conversation aside from the subject of love. She couldn't even handle it, hearing it would be so. horrible.

Yes dear I am very much in love with your Ridge

NO! NO No NO

No longer hers. He belonged to no one know, he was a free man now, loving that red bitch and breeding with her, betraying her in the very worst way possible throwing everything she had given and received, away. She felt tears pushing toward her eyes and she closed them tighter and held them back. No longer hers. No longer belonging.

Then. Who did she belong to?

No one. No one of course. She belonged to herself, she didn't have to belong to anyone to be alive and a living creature like everyone else. Of course not! She was just as free as Ridge was! Though it was nice to know you had somewhere to come home to..

[Akante]

Ixion said:

Ixion? Do. Do you ever fall in love with girls?

With surprise, the dire looked up at the female, water dripping from his chin. Water was still pooled in his mouth, but was swallowed when a smile came upon his face. The question was odd to Ixion, but when he was about to answer her question, she decided not to know.

Ah sorry nevermind me.

Head tilted in confusion. Why did she ask if she didn't want to know? Who knew, but she seemed a bit sad after she had asked, as if a wound had opened. Ixion wadded in the water towards her. "You no look fine. You sad?" The male was a bit concerned, wondering if he had done something wrong to make the female unsatisfied. "Ixion bad?" The sad, confused puppy look seemed even worse now on Ixion's face.

"Lets go catch bugs! Always make Ixion feel good. Fun catching bugs." Without a moment to spare, the dire was out of the water, shaking the remainder, then looking back at the female. Ixion was a bit nervous about her behavior. Honestly, he wasn't sure how to react to sadness. He always dealt with his own, never someone else's. He didn't know how. "Ixion don't like remembering either." For most of his earlier years, the dire wanted to kill herself. Always wanted to fly above the sky with her ancestors. The only memory fragments that came from her past were in dreams, otherwise Ixion didn't remember anything as a pup. Schizophrenia was apart of this. Her father was the culprit of this.

[sorry it's short, I have no muse for any of my characters except for Shadon ]